I Can See the Ivy: A Response
“Nothing is lost, nothing is created, all is transformed,”
-attributed to the father of modern chemistry,
Antoine Lavoisier, 1743–1794
Today in worship we sang one of my favorite songs, “Everlasting God” which sings,
We set our hope on you,
We set our hope on your love,
We set out hope on the one, who is the Everlasting God.
I breathed into those words. I felt hope and trust that no matter what happened at the United Methodist Church’s General Conference in the next few days, love would ultimately win. It was simple in my mind: love is still the answer. Love always has been the answer and love always will be the answer. God is a God of justice, a God that sets people free, liberates the poor and oppressed, and takes care of the least of these. So although I was slightly anxious, I felt that God was guiding us into the great unknown, if we would only trust and walk with the Divine.
As the afternoon and evening progressed, however, I started to become worried.. The voting of the prioritized legislative slate made me nervous. Why, out of all the plans, was the one I felt was the least filled with love the first one on the list of discussion items?
Sorting of prioritized discussion at the United Methodist General Conference 2019. After Pensions, the Traditionalist Plan will be discussed first. Followed in a distant Fifth by the One Church Plan.
As I’ve continued to meditate and pray, my mind keeps going back to Thich Nhat Hanh’s philosophy of no birth and no death. He explains it like this: when a cloud exists, it is not afraid of death. The cloud knows that soon it will be rain, which will fall to the earth and eventually become air. The cloud never dies. It instead is transformed.
I wonder if that is what is happening with our church too. One way or another, it looks like whichever way we walk in this journey, there will be people who will leave this path. There may be disillusionment. There may be splits. Intellectually, of course, I have known this, but to see it in action is another greater reality.
My heart asks these questions: What if God is making room for something greater?
What if we are now in the midst, in the growing pains, of being transformed into a greater form of God’s love?
In the song “Beautiful Things,” Gungor’s lyrics speak words of truth, “You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust.” Is not the foundations of new life built in the mud? What if we have to get in the mud and get a little messy, transform into something new and life giving and love affirming before we can truly be the people we are called to be?
We know one thing.
Birth, like death, is messy. But we cannot have one without the other.
Although I am still quite anxious tonight. I am quieting my mind with the thoughts of new hope and new life. My friend Jenny Bates writes of her experience at General Conference today. She is bearing witness to moments of a coming together, a reconciliation within fear and pain, and ultimately, moments of joyful hope.
“Today was hard, but in the hard moments I saw lights of hope. The young man, a fellow seminarian from Pittsburgh, while we waited to get in who spoke of his hopes. The mother of a lesbian who came all the way from Chicago to be a supporter of inclusion because she loved her daughter. The young seminarian who said he was worried about the future of the church for the kids in his ministry in Georgia. The other non-binary seminarian I talked to from Illinois. The protestors who made their voice heard for inclusion through chants and songs. The woman who gave me a hug because she said it looked like I needed one. My church and school friends that checked in and lamented with me. My schoolmates who are brave and refuse to give up hope.”
Chuck Reeves, Jenny Bates, and Cynthia Reeves at General Conference 2019 in St. Louis representing the First United Methodist Church, Denton, TX crew.
There is hope, friends. Hope in a future that is only filled with a theology based on loving our neighbor. But until then, I am trusting to walk beside God step for step and listen to the Spirit’s call in my heart. “Be at peace. I got this. Love always wins.”
For I know one truth, no matter what. As one of my friends and my pastor, Jonathan Perry, reaffirmed tonight-
“Jesus is in the business of resurrection.”
Let us not be afraid.
I had all
But given up
Desperate for
A sign from love
Something good
Something kind
Bringing peace to every corner of my mind
Then I saw the garden
Hope had come to me
To sweep away the ashes
And wake me from my sleep
I realised
You never left
And for this moment
You planned ahead
That I would see
Your faithfulness in all of the green
I can see the ivy
Growing through the wall
'Cause You will stop at nothing
To heal my broken soul
I can see the ivy
Reaching through the wall
'Cause You will stop at nothing
To heal my broken soul
Faith is rising up like ivy
Reaching for the light
Hope is stirring deep inside me
Making all things right
Love is lifting me from sorrow
Catching every tear
Dispelling every lie and torment
Crushing all my fears
Now I see redemption
Growing in the trees
The death and resurrection
In every single seed
“The Garden” | Kari Jobe
Photo by henry perks
